Claire's Diary 31/03/2015

31/03/2015

Dear diary

Does my face look funny? Not in an entertaining way, I mean does it look a little odd? Do you think it might be off-putting to some people? Is it going to make it difficult to have children as they might find me a little creepy with a face like this?
Why am I asking you? You're just a book.

Claire

Claire's Diary 30/03/2015

30/03/2015

Dear diary

I can hold a pencil between my nose and upper lip.
In other news, I have decided on my holiday, Rome. I went there about 6 years ago. I broke my leg.

Claire

Claire's Diary 29/03/2015

29/03/2015

Dear diary

Hello? Is anybody there? Say something if so. Where did this cloud come from?
Anyway, I'm trying to work out where I am because I need to be at the library in 5 minutes. Wait, no I don't, it's Sunday... Isn't it?
I don't even know how long I've been here!

Claire

Claire's Diary 28/03/2015

28/03/2015

Dear diary

What is the only thing better than your favourite food? Your favourite food on a stick! Here are a few recommendations (Which I have not tested)

Cake on a stick

Juice on a stick

Cheese straw on a stick

Wellington boot on a stick

Mashed potato on a stick

Herbal tea on a stick

Claire

Claire's Diary 27/03/2015

27/03/2015

Dear diary

I feel like playing some country music on the guitar. I have the inspiration in my soul and I look good in a stetson sitting on a stile as the sun goes down.
Looks like I need to learn to play.

Claire

Beluga Weekly #322

Claire's Diary 26/03/2015

26/03/2015

Dear diary

Cartoons are so misleading! You can't walk off a cliff without falling, electricity can kill you if it courses through your body and it is not possible to eat anything larger than your head without chewing.
That's why I watch reality TV.

Claire

Claire's Diary 25/03/2015

25/03/2015

Dear diary

How can you not love the cute little face of a lobster? They look so adorable climbing on rocks and so peaceful simmering in a hot pan. I love those little crustaceans. Yes, they can get a little nippy, but I don't care. The lobster is my favourite insect of the ocean.
Except the fact that their liver is green. Gross.

Claire

Claire's Diary 24/03/2015

24/03/2015

Dear diary

After an encounter with a special kind of fountain earlier, I now want to make a vowel.
I will never eat chocolate again!

Claire

Claire's Diary 23/03/2015

23/03/2015

Dear diary

I am very pleased to announce that I not only have a new job at the library, but I also have a new TV! You should see it. It's a real thing of beauty. I'm looking forward to watching Littlest Pet Shop on it. I'm going to have to record it though because I need to be at the stupid library all day.

Claire

Claire's Diary 22/03/2015

22/03/2015

Dear diary

Today I went scuba diving. It was fun. Most rabbits don't enjoy being underwater. I'll admit it's not the most pleasant experience. In fact, I find it very discomforting being submerged for a certain amount of time. I prefer boating. I still had a lot of fun being underwater... Looking at things underwater.
It was most enjoyable.
Don't think I'll be doing it again.

Claire

Claire's Diary 21/03/2015

21/03/2015

Dear diary

I have never travelled to any other country in the world apart form France. I'm thinking I should look into finding new places to spend my holidays. Maybe somewhere cooler as I'm not crazy about sunburn. Yes rabbits can get sunburn.
I'm not going on holiday this year actually. Need to save up as much cash as possible.
In the meantime here's a vaguely insulting picture of me in the form of a French stereotype.

Claire

New Stuff #10 available now!

New Stuff: New Stuff #10

A time travel adventure involving a microwave that not only has the ability to visit different moments in history, but also transform its travellers into fitting relics! It's a random one.

Claire's Diary 20/03/2015

20/03/2015

Dear diary

It has been very nice visiting this planet you call earth, but now it is time for me to return to my home up in the stars.

Not really! It's just a joke.

Nothing much happened today so I'm messing about to make it a bit more definable.

Earth is a dull place to live.

Claire

Beluga Weekly #321

Claire's Diary 19/03/2015

19/03/2015

Dear diary.

I finally have some eggs in my kitchen. I don't think the chickens were particularly happy about it. Maybe next time I should tell them I'm the Easter Bunny?
Anyway, mission accomplished.

Claire

Claire's Diary 18/03/2015

18/03/2015

Dear diary

Porridge is a really good hangover cure. And it's very yummy! At least if you add a ton of sugar to it.
I know how to have a hearty breakfast!

Claire

Need some rest

Just a quick update for anybody who has been wondering why there has not been any activity here recently. I am fighting off a virus, the doctor reckons I need a few day's rest so everything for this week has been put on hold. The good news is that as I'm not too far behind, it shouldn't be hard to get things back on track and get all the next comics and cartoons up when they are due.
Thanks for your patience and keep watching this space.

Andy

Claire's diary 17/03/2015

17/03/2015

Dear diary

Today is the day we celebrate a man who freed the snakes from Ireland or some such nonsense.

Do snakes drink stout? Is that a thing? I never really understood this holiday. Was there really a Saint Patrick? Is any of it not made up?

Cheers.

Claire

Claire's Diary 16/03/2015

16/03/2015

Dear diary

I've been shopping again! This time for clothes! I look pretty sexy! There was a stupid red dress on sale and it's mine now.
I've decided to go for coffee tomorrow.
I'm also going to get more string.

Claire

Claire's Diary 15/03/2015

15/03/2015

Dear diary

Today I went shopping! Oh yeah. Nobody can stop this bunny! I don't know why the dumb shops have to be so far away but I think I got my money's worth. I think I mostly bought deodorant. That and string. I was out of string.

Maybe tomorrow I'll go for a coffee or something?

In the meantime I'm going to figure out what to do with all this string.

Claire

Claire's Diary 14/03/2015

14/03/2015

Dear diary

Today I discovered a cool way of protecting my carrots. With a bumbag! I wish I'd had this idea sooner.
In other news, I've lost about 2K in bank notes. Not sure how that happened.

Claire

Beluga Weekly #320

Claire's Diary 13/03/2015

13/03/2015

Dear diary

Is Friday the 13th really such an unlucky day? Nothing happened to me today at all except for accidentally dropping my breakfast in my laundry basket, Falling off my bike on the way to the optician's and getting hit on the head by a coconut but apart from that, nothing bad happened.

Claire

Claire's Diary 12/03/2015

12/03/2015

Dear diary

I have so many fond memories of camping. Sleeping in a fifthly sleeping bag,the smell of cowpats nearby and of course, the dampness of the tent walls even when it hasn't been raining. Fantastic. The only thing I'm not crazy about is sharing a tent with others. It gets so crowded and uncomfortable, in fact, I think I'm gonna hire a cottage this year.

Claire

Claire's Diary 11/03/2015

11/03/2015

Dear diary

I had a funny dream last night. I dreamt I was a pear. I know. Something's very wrong with me. The weird thing is, I kinda liked it. I need to stress that I was a very, very juicy pear in this dream. I found myself thinking about things deeply. Things I don't usually get the chance to.

Claire the pear

Claire's Diary 10/03/2015

10/03/2015

Dear diary

I'm doing really well at this game! I think I'm going to have to stop writing so I can concentrate... YEAH! Take that! I've been playing for about 15 minutes and my score is through the roof! And it keeps on climbing... BOOM! Yeah! Whoop! I am doing so well! Pity it's not a very good game.

Gonna take a stupid nap now.

Claire

Claire's Diary 09/03/2015

09/03/2015

Dear diary

I am so tired I don't know how much I will be able to write today. I had a tough time getting to and from the office, I forgot my lunch so I had to order some dumb noodles, plus I had to go to the library and read some stupid books. Really tired. I don't want to be a surgeon anymore.

Claire

Claire's Diary 08/03/2015

08/03/2015

Dear diary

I am so retro I just listened to my old walkman! I didn't have any old cassettes available so I had to buy some blank ones and record some music off the radio. I listened to the first tape for about 18 minutes before I realised there was no music, just people discussing news and politics. That's when I discovered I had recorded a talks program on one of the posh radio stations.

Still, it's better than any music in the charts right now.

Claire

Claire's Diary 07/03/2015

07/03/2015

Dear diary

The best things in life are free but you still have to pay for cereal. I love cereal but I'm not very fond of milk. That's why I usually eat it dry. Sometimes I want my cereal to be a little soggy so I pour milk on it and then drain it off using a colander. Clever huh?

Claire

Audio Junk #117 - Variety

Beluga Weekly #319

Claire's Diary 06/03/2015

06/03/2015

Dear diary

I feel like I should be feeling really guilty right now. You see, I found this stupid bathroom plug today and I decided to take it home as it didn't seem to be doing anything important and later on I read an article about a drought somewhere in Africa. I can't help feeling that if I had not removed this plug from its place of origin, this would never have happened.

Mind you, I wasn't anywhere near Africa when I removed it.

Not only that, I don't know if Africa keeps all of its water in a bathtub.

Also, I didn't remove this plug from a bathtub at all. It was in a skip.

I'm feeling better now.

Claire

Claire's Diary 05/03/2015

05/03/2015

Dear diary

Is it true that eating cheese before you go to bed, it makes you dream about Fred Savage? Because I'm willing to risk it. It is now 10pm but there's a delicious piece of camembert in my fridge and a packet of oatcakes in the cupboard.

I'm looking forward to the cheese. The oatcakes, not so much.

Claire 

Claire's Diary 04/03/2015

04/03/2015

Dear diary

Maths has never been my strong point so I'm having another attempt at schooling myself so that I may become more numerically able.

This is too hard.

I give up.

Claire

Claire's Diary 03/03/2015

03/03/2015

Dear diary

I spent most of today being totally carefree. I went for a run around the park, knocked over a dumb scarecrow in a field and rolled around in the grass. I was unstoppable!
Don't think I'll be doing this again anytime soon. My back hurts.

Claire

Claire's diary 02/03/2015

02/03/2015

Dear diary

Today was one of those days where I just want to run off and join the circus. Days like these are not exactly frequent but I do love a bit of old fashioned entertainment. Oh the excitement and majesty of having the crowd in the palm of your hand. To be the centre of attention. To travel the world and wake up in a different town every morning.
The only thing is that rabbits can't join the circus. I think it's an animal rights issue. Oh well.

Claire

Claire's Diary 01/03/2015

01/03/2015

Dear diary

I feel the need to drink something fruity. Winter will soon be a thing of the past so from here on it's all about enjoying exotic flavours and wearing sunglasses. Hold on... I seem to have misplaced my shades. Oh well. I'm still having a drink. Mango and passion fruit. First, I need to buy a cocktail bar.

Claire